Why Circle Time Feels Like Torture for Some Kids

It’s morning. The teacher calls, “Everyone to the carpet!” Most students wander over, plop down, and start chatting. But one hangs back by the cubbies, arms crossed. Another sits for a moment, then wriggles away. A third starts humming loudly, drawing frustrated looks from classmates.

It might look like defiance. However, these moments are often the nervous system’s way of signaling overload: 'This is too much.'

For some neurodivergent or sensory-sensitive children, circle time is not a cozy community ritual; it’s an overload of sensory and social demands. Let’s explore why it can feel like “torture” to some children, and how we can reimagine it to work better for everyone.

Circle Time Through a Sensory Lens

Traditional circle time packs in sensory challenges that many adults don’t notice:

• Sitting on the floor – Hard surfaces or itchy carpets can be uncomfortable or even painful.
• Crowded space – Shoulder-to-shoulder seating can feel intrusive, unsafe, or distracting.
• Noise levels – Whispers, shuffling, coughs, and talking all blend into a sensory storm.
• Expectations for stillness – Sitting still can be physically uncomfortable for kids who need movement to regulate.
• Visual overload – Bright posters, colorful props, and other stimuli compete for attention.

Kids aren’t choosing discomfort. Their nervous systems are reacting to it.

The Social Pressure Layer

Beyond the sensory demands, circle time also comes with unspoken social rules—many of which are invisible to neurotypical adults but exhausting for autistic or socially anxious children:

• Making eye contact with the teacher or peers
• Knowing exactly when it’s your turn to speak
• Navigating proximity to peers (who may or may not be friendly)
• Performing on demand when called to share
• Processing what others say while planning a response

For kids who process language more slowly or who struggle with social nuances, this can feel less like a community gathering and more like a performance under pressure.

What Struggle Might Look Like (It’s Not Always Obvious)

Sensory or social distress during circle time doesn’t always look like panic; it often shows up as behaviors that get misunderstood or mislabeled:

• Refusing to sit or frequently leaving the group
• Avoiding eye contact or turning away from the circle
• Rocking, chewing, tapping, or fidgeting
• Blurting out answers or not responding at all
• Acting silly, crying, or withdrawing entirely

These are not signs of disrespect. They are adaptive coping strategies a child uses to manage stress.

When a child resists circle time, they’re often protecting their nervous system, not trying to be difficult.

Inclusive Alternatives to Traditional Circle Time

You don’t have to scrap group time altogether, but you can make it work for more kids with a few flexible, inclusive changes:

• Flexible seating: Chairs, cushions, beanbags, or the option to stand
• Smaller groups: Break into mini-circles to reduce sensory and social load
• Sensory tools allowed: Fidgets, weighted lap pads, or regulated movement breaks
• Movement-based transitions: Stretch before or after group time
• Reduced pressure: Participation is encouraged, but there are multiple ways to engage
• Predictability: Use the same routine daily so students know what to expect

For some children, discreet sensory wearables can be helpful, such as the Cloud Nine Hoodie, which features a built-in discreet fidget cuff and soft, tag-free fabric, allowing them to self-regulate without drawing attention.

Supporting Regulation During Group Activities

Group time works best when regulation comes first. A few small adjustments can go a long way:

• Give a heads-up before circle time begins (“Circle in 5 minutes”)
• Let kids preview the plan for group time
• Allow breaks and re-entry if needed
• Use a visual schedule to reduce uncertainty
• Offer comfort items or preferred seating spots

When kids feel safe and regulated, they’re more likely to engage meaningfully.

Group Time Shouldn’t Be a Battleground

If you’ve never considered how overwhelming circle time can be, you’re not alone. Many educators and caregivers only see the outward behaviors, not the hidden sensory and social stress underneath.. But now that you know, you have the power to make small changes that have a big impact.

When we shift the environment to fit the child, instead of forcing the child to fit the environment, every student benefits.

View resistance not as defiance, but as a signal worth listening to.